911 Anyone???

It's been a long while again, but I am going to stop apologizing. There is too much going on these days for me to worry about anything that does not deal with staying alive. Yesterday made that all too clear. It was the first time I have had to call 911 - for myself. It was nothing more than tangled up oxygen cables, and the massage therapist was here, so there should not have been such an emergency. However, folks- when you know that you will pass out within a few minutes and the person with you has no medical training, you tend to panic- at least I did. And the oxygen provider (Walson) is still trying to come up with the best "fit" for me as my need increases exponentially. We all thought that I would be transplanted before I got to this point, which is called "end-stage lung disease". It has been pretty difficult trying to keep my sense of humor. Walson did send one of their respiratory therapists over, and she worked with me & Steve was home by then, so we benefitted from that as well.

Well, I believe I was going to tell you about my visit with Summer & Brittany. Some of you might know who these two girls are, but most of you do not, because despite the fact that they are close relatives of ours, the "degree" that links us to them is either AWOL or in communicado. Both of them had their 25th birthdays this fall. Brittany is our granddaughter- our oldest one. Her mother is Rebecca, whom we called "Muffin" when she was at home. She got pregnant, married Todd Hergert and had Brittany in September 1985. We saw them for a few years- although not often. Then, when Brittany was 5, they divorced, and Todd took custody of Brittany. His mother & grandmother raised her. Todd's mother is married to Doug Nelson, the caterer. We were invited to her HS graduation and then, a year ago, to her wedding- plus Steve's ex-wife (Rebecca's mother, who has always enabled Rebecca, who has a major drug problem) decided that we were selected to keep the bottom layer of the wedding cake (not the tiny top, but the huge bottom layer)because we were the only family members living in Beaumont with a deep-freeze! So nice to be wanted and needed! Brittany & Brannen, her husband, have a 3-year-old son. They moved in together several years ago, then she had the baby, and when he was 2, they decided to get married. It was a pretty wedding at St. John's Lutheran.

We have seen more of Summer through the years. She is our niece- her mother is Steve's sister Sherri. Since Steve's parents both died (one in Jan. '07, the other in Febr. '08), there just hasn't been the amount of visiting etc. that used to go on- we celebrated every birthday, all holidays- anyway, we saw each other more often back then. I'm sure this happens in all families. Well, I knew that Brittany had already had her birthday and that Summer's was approaching, and Brittany was also right at her 1st wedding anniversary, when I decided to call them and invite them over. I just told them that I wanted a chance to see them again, and could we plan a party & invite the aunts and cousins, and do it here except I couldn't do anything! It was a very nice plan, but it didn't happen. I was really down that weekend, and have actually been getting weaker by the day ever since- hence I have found no real reason to write. Brittany did take her cake home, however! So our freezer has room in it again.

I did have a wonderful conversation with Virginia Balano last night, however- she graduated with me from South Park High School, and I have seen her exactly twice since then! Nevertheless, she is one of those rare individuals who feels called to take care of the sick & dying, as we are told to do in the Bible. When she heard about my illness, she wrote to me and said "I will be there to do whatever you need for as long as you need me." Something like that is just so amazing- we were acquaintances- I don't recall having any classes with her, but she attended Jr. High & High School with me. But until we got together for lunch one day when she & another mutual friend were in town at the same time (for a Melody Maids reunion), I wouldn't have known Virginia if she had walked in my door. She has taken care of her sister when she nearly died from cancer- but she didn't and I believe she is fine today; and she took care of her EX! To go sit and nurse the man who decided he wanted to be with someone else after many years of marriage was a major job in forgiveness. She is just awesome. And so I called her & we talked, and I said that I need someone with me as soon as possible- it is the only way I am going to make it til whenever they have a match for me. We settled on December 6- she will fly into Houston, and Steve will go pick her up. Then, whether they call me the next day or the next month, I will have daily help- which is what I need. So that is good.

Bettie Nixon is coming over in a while to go to the grocery store to pick up the things on Stratton's list. He & Brian are coming south- Brian and Lucy the dog will go stay with Brian's folks, and Stratton will be here, and he is cooking dinner. So I think I might take a wee nap now until it is time for her to arrive. Until whenever, friends................

September Song

I'm leaving the title of this post blank until I finish- then maybe I'll know what to call it. I see that it has been 2 weeks again. You know, after living with personal computers for 22 years, since I began selling them in 1987, I have been very reluctant to even turn one on. I can't really figure it out, but most of it has to do with my physical weakness- my new laptop that I picked out and Entre gave me when I retired- it is a wonderful unit, but it weighs about 6 lbs. and for me to go get it from the charging station using my walker and return to either the chair or bed is usually more than I can undertake. I can also sit in my home office at the desktop and do it- that requires that I move from wherever I am. This slug-like existence is below what I characterize as life, but it is what I have to deal with now, and I am determined to do so with grace, using humor as my weapon against self-pity. So many amazingly wonderful things are happening to me that I refuse to allow them to go by unrecorded. Since I have 2 weeks to go back through, I think I will do it in reverse, beginning with this morning, but first a word about my cousin Susan. Cullen wrote yesterday that she is making tremendous strides in her recovery at TIRR. He has located quarters for himself to stay over there, so he will be splitting his time since he will be doing Susan's job of running the ranch business until she is recovered. (Their son lives there in Devers on the ranch & manages the dailies, but Susan & her mother are the owners of the ranch, and Susan is the Business Manager.) So the fact that Susan is on the mend is wonderful news for our entire family.

OK- this morning we all slept in. Steve is on call, but he didn't get his first call-out that required he leave the house didn't until 11:00, although he got up at 6:30 to locate some pipe in Houston for one of his Exxon Mobil contractors. I've always kidded Steve that he just thought he managed to escape working in the "family business" (referring to his dad's 30+ years as an employee there). Instead, Mobil has been Steve's account through 3 different jobs he has had in the PVF industry. So once he got up to leave, the phone rang, and I heard him answer & tell Stratton that it was Betty Lebus for him. I think I've noted here before the bond that formed almost immediately between the two of them over gardening. Betty was once again bringing a meal to our house, but I fell back to sleep & entirely missed her visit. (That was probably OK with her & Stratton- they got to talk to each other.) Bless her heart, she mended some clothes that he had brought down for me to fix- simple chores that I could have done in a couple of hours in the past- they sat, unrepaired, until Betty picked up the bag they were in & took it home & fixed them herself. Once I woke up (we're talking after noon here)and turned my oxygen up a notch, I devoured a plateful of the best home-cooked food you can imagine. Baked chicken, succotash, sweet potato pie, garlic bread, a potato casserole of sorts- and Stratton said there is dessert but no one has brought me any yet, nor do I even know what it is, but I'm sure it is good. Sated and pilled (I have meds for before and after almost all my meals, and I am told that the amount of medication doubles after transplant!)I decided to blog.

OK- back to yesterday- it was one of those Red Letter Days of this entire experience. I think I have mentioned (but maybe not) that Steve and I have been Season Ticket holders for the Broadway Show Series, which is a touring group of musicals (and an occasional play)that have been on Broadway in recent seasons, including most Tony Award winners. Bob & Margaret Harris were our partners for 15 years, and it made for a really fun Saturday, about 6-7 times per year. Once they retired & moved to League City, they began their new lives as part-time RVers, and that meant that they would always miss 2 or more performances, so they decided to stop purchasing their 2 seats. The BSS works like many other venues- your loyalty is rewarded by better seats each season so long as better seats exist. After about our 12th year, we had reached 6th row center orchestra, and they don't come much better than that. So we set about finding two people who wanted to commit the time & money to the new season, and it ended up being Bettie Nixon & Patty Edwardsen. Yesterday was our first play of the 2010-11 season, and it was the annual children's musical, which was SHREK this time. Of course Steve & I had been hoping that I would be in the hospital by this time, so we had decided that if this turned out to be the case, then we would justr give Betty & Patty our tickets because they each have a middle-school aged granddaughter, and this turned out to be a great show for ALL ages. However, I wasn't called, so it was going to be the 4 of us, and then Steve realized that he was on call this weekend. Stratton had said he was ready to come back down, so he did, arriving as usual in the middle of the night Friday along with Lucy, his pound puppy who is now 18 months old and is sporting a cast on her front left leg where she was hit by a car. (Their yard is fenced- but she was in the front with Stratton and just took a wild moment & dashed into the street, probably after a squirrel, at the wrong moment. Amazingly, the tire ran over her paw but didn't fracture any of her bones! She's a darling dog, extremely affectionate, and finally, after several weekends of exposure, Bo Peep is beginning to warm up to her and play. In her doggy mind, I'm sure she has always been afraid that Lucy was here to stay or to replace her or something- she has never been aggressive, because Bo is a totally non-confrontational dog, but she has not wanted to be around Lucy. So Steve got to stay home with 2 dogs and a cat and telecommute while we went to see SHREK. After the play, we met Bob & Margaret and Kathy & Alexandra Richardson at Kim Son for dinner. All of this activity was made possible by very careful planning. I can make it on 5 liters per hour oxygen flow if I am sitting down and quiet, but I cannot walk anywhere at all, nor talk and walk, because I desaturate immediately. So we took the wheelchair that Bettie's mother has but never uses and 2 of the large canisters of oxygen plus my little liquid portable. The Hobby Center also has wheelchairs. We valet parked, so Stratton drove up in front of the theater, got out & told the valet that we needed a wheelchair, one was retrieved, and Bettie Nixon pushed me inside the lobby while she, Patty & I attempted to keep the oxygen on track in its little carriage on wheels. We looked for all the world like the Three Elderly Female Stooges! Once inside, Bettie had to surrender her driver's license as collateral until they got their wheelchair back! After that, an usher took me to my seat and kept the chair in the wings, returning to get me for intermission & after the show. It all went quite well. We had a great time with Bob, Margaret, Kathy & Alex and ate wonderfully prepared Vietnamese food amid great fellowship.

Moving backwards, on Tuesday (I think- I was writing everything down & quit because it was too far to the wall calendar- now I'm wishing I had made the effort) Kathy Crawford from Entre and Joel McBride came & brought Schlotsky's lunch. Joel & I are the 2 longest-serving people in the history of the Entre payroll: he started in April of 1987 and left in April 2009 to work for a large company called Heico, but his office is inside Bo-Mac, so he has continued to be a familiar face at Entre. I started in September 1987 and retired Dec. 31, 2009. Kathy turned around and came back that afternoon with a potful of taco soup and a bag of tortilla chips- another superb meal made more memorable by great conversation.

I'm going to post this because I'm about to fall asleep- but I will begin next time with the wonderful visit I had with our oldest daughter Brittany & our niece Summer which occured a couple of weeks ago- the visit I was about to describe when I fell asleep the last time- hence I know that I have caught up-! And now I know what to call this chapter......................

Oh, it's a long, long while from May to December
But the days grow short when you reach September
When the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame
One hasn't got time for the waiting game

Oh, the days dwindle down to a precious few
September, November
And these few precious days I'll spend with you
These precious days I'll spend with you

THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES- PART II OF Adventure at Baylor

I decided not to make this an entirely new blog. Being a total novice at Blogging, I wasn't sure what that would do to the people who have book-marked the other title. So it is just a technicality- after all, my doctors in Houston, for the most part, are on the faculty of the Baylor College of Medicine, which is the Medical School. It is very confusing, as I was myself TOTALLY confused at the beginning, because I made an assumption that if I was approved in Dallas under the auspices of Baylor Medical Center, that would automatically transfer to Houston. NOT. They are two entirely different institutions, and NEITHER ONE has any connection with the University in Waco. It is an interesting diversion, but not one I'm particularly interested in investigating right now- basically it gets down to Southern Baptist theology vs.21st century science. Enough said.

Well, I have yet another wonderful visit to report. Steve & I have lamented upon the fact that since the death of his dad, which was just a year after the death of his mom, the family produced by these two people has pretty much fallen apart in terms of getting toether for birthdays, Christmas, etc. We see our children and grandchildren (for the most part) and Steve's sister Sherri sees hers. However, we no longer gather as a group for someone's birthday, or on Christmas Eve following church. So I just decided to do something about it while I still could. Our oldest grandchild is the only one we never see- it is simply because she was raised by her father, and when she visited her mother, it was usually in the home of her maternal grandmother- that would be Steve's first wife. Basically, no one made it easy for her to see us when she was a young child, so we had to wait until she grew up. She was 25 last month, and we did see her a year ago, when she was married here at St John's Lutheran. In fact, because we were the only family members who lived in Beaumont who owned a freezer, we were selected (again, by Steve's ex-wife) to take the bottom layer of the wedding cake home and take care of it while the kids were on their honeymoon. That turned out to be until this week! That cake occupied an entire shelf in our freezer- but in truth, we didn't have all that much stuff to put there. Our beautiful granddaughter's name is Brittany Brinkley (her married name). She & Brannen had, like many young people today, observed a different order when it came to creating a family. They moved in together & had a son 3 years ago, His name is Braden, and he is just darling. Then a year ago, they made it all legal, and we watched as the three of them danced at the wedding- Brittany & Brannen holding Braden. (They are big on the "Br" combination, since it was a given when they met. They are working on selecting a name for a second child that starts with Br). Well, we also have a 25-year-old niece, Summer Ramirez. She & her husband Eddie have 2 little boys- Brody & Braxton- so they are into the Br combo as well. I called Summer, because we have seen a lot more of her than we have of Brittany, and I just told her that I really didn't want the next occasion that brought the Garrett family together to be my funeral, because I wouldn't be there to enjoy it, so could we work on engineering it to happen sooner. I asked her to call Brittany and find a time when the daddies could babysit the boys, since I really wanted to visit the girls, and am not supposed to be around young children right now. (They carry the biggest chance of infecting me with an upper respiratory infection, AKA a "common cold", except that with a pre or post transplant patient, there is nothing simple or "common" about a cold. Anyway, it turned out to be amazingly simple, and the girls were at our house yesterday at 3:00!

Mea Culpa But I'm Not Lazy!

I had to go back and read the date and the content of my last entry- it has been so long. I will be brief in my explanation: I have not had a good attitude for the past 2 weeks plus. I have been getting sicker and I de-saturate so quickly that I really cannot stay on my feet for any length of time. I have learned SO MUCH about how our bodies work during this disease- it takes what I'll call "blood oxygen" for every thing we do, such as: eat, stand up, talk, bend over (that's a big one), and finally, urinary continence. You have to have a high-enough level of oxygen in your bloodstream to accomplish any of those things- and they differ in terms of which one takes more. But the underlying marvel of it all is that our body compensates to keep us alive for as long as possible. All those things mentioned above are not crucial to survival, so when it gets critical, they just fall away. Before you die, you lose consciousness so that you can no longer steal the precious resource (oxygen) for something as non-essential as holding your water! Anyway, all kinds of things have happened since I wrote last, chief among them being the two strokes my cousin Susan suffered shortly after I wrote. Of course we were all just devastated when it happened, but as of now it looks like she is not only going to survive, but the doctors say she can indeed recover- but like all recoveries, it will take its own time. Susan is so smart- and she demonstrated not only her intelligence but also her love when the first little TIA occurred. She had her 5-year-old granddaughter Haidyn in the car with her, and they were going by McDonald's for a snack. All of a sudden, after she had ordered the snack at the first window, when she drove up to the "pay and get your stuff" window, she realized that she couldn't speak. She was thinking just fine (and apparently has never been anything but normal, mentally), but she couldn't form any words. She managed to give the clerk the correct change & take the snack, and she drove home without incident. She got Haidyn in the house & sitting down with her snack, and after that she quickly got everything together that she knew she would need- ID, insurance cards, etc., and she made 2 phone calls. The first one was to 911 and the second one was to Cullen. Neither one of them could understand what she was saying, but they both knew that she was in trouble and responded. Apparently, the 911 dispatcher totally misunderstood whatever it was that Susan was trying to say, because when Cullen got home, there were 7 police cars in his drive- I told him it's a good thing he has what amounts to a parking lot behind his house, because it was full! It turns out that the police were told that there were men in the house and one was armed. (Not that Susan said anything of the kind, but it went through a dispatcher who was extremely creative, I guess). Cullen said that when Susan called him, all he understood was the word "Help!" As I indicated earlier, this was a very minor "incident" compared to what happened the next day. Before she had the 2nd stroke, she actually began recovering from the first one- she could then speak, but nouns escaped her. Cullen said she could describe something all day long- with adjectives galore, but she could not think of the noun she needed. They even laughed about it. Well, it is good that she was in the hospital when she had the second one, and of course it was right after he had gone home after seeing her- did I mention that she was in Neuro ICU? And Cullen has a habit of not obeying hospital rules when the patient is a member of his family. Susan has already had 3 major "incidents" that required surgery and follow-up time in ICU, but those were all related to her heart. Anyway, when I asked him if he was getting to see her on the every-4-hour schedule, he said "Oh you know me, Eileen. I break the rules." He & one nurse were really at odds over this, and so Cullen just told her- "You girls are divided up & each of you has a few patients. I've noticed that. Just swap me out with someone else that one of the other nurses is working with, and that way, we won't have to put up with each other any more." So she did! Some nurses are real sticklers on things like that rule- and some husbands are very hard-headed and aren't going to leave because the clock says to. Once a different nurse was taking care of Susan, there was no longer an issue, because Cullen wasn't bothering anyone- just sitting where he was not in the way. Well, that all happened over a week ago, and the second stroke, as I said, was pretty bad- it left her paralyzed on the right side and totally mute. She was immediately intubated and put on a ventilator as a precaution, and a feeding tube was put in place. Things rocked along like that until at least Thursday of last week, because that is the last time I had direct contact with Cullen- he came by here to visit. He got to see Bob & Margaret Harris, our dear friends who are very enthusiastic RV-ers and who had spent the entire summer until after Labor Day "hosting" at a "primitive" campsite in Colorado. It was a paying job- minimum wage for each of them, 30 hours per week- but it turned out to be a lot more work than they first thought. So it is an experience about which they will probably say "Been there, done that". (Although it was indeed "Primitive" for the guests, as the hosts, Bob & Margaret did have hook-ups.) This is the couple with whom we attended the Broadway Show Series in Houston for over 15 years as season-ticket holders. They move you up towards front & center whenever they can if you renew, so we are now 5th row Center Orchestra- deemed among the "best seats in the house". Bob & I worked together at Entre beginning in 1987, and then they had moved to League City from Groves shortly after they retired because they have a son, daughter-in-law & 2 grandchildren there, so we already missed them & didn't see them as often as before, but this was like 4 months, and I was so happy to see them. Margaret is an RN, and they are going to work together as my Caregivers during part of the time I'm having to "live" in Houston. Oh- and on that score- we are back to selecting a hotel or apartment from the ones on the list, because if Cullen's former employer has one available, he is going to need it! I didn't finish my story while ago about Susan- she was taken off the ventilator last Thursday with no trouble and is breathing on her own, so once they determined is she could swallow, they were going to remove the feeding tube. And after that, even though she remains partially paralyzed & still cannot speak, she will be considered medically stable and can be moved to a rehabilitation facility. I think Cullen wants to take her to Houston to the TIRR that is associated with Memorial Hermann. Anyway, he & Steve will both be in Houston as chief Caregivers to their wives. As I've said before, in the Paxton Family (my dad & his six siblings, one of whom was Cullen's mother), everyone is very close-knit, and Susan is on everyone's prayer list. For those of you who put people on your church's prayer list, her name is Susan Ramsey, and in addition to your continued prayers for me, I will appreciate it very much if you will also pray for Susan.

I ended the previous entry be saying "I need to tell you about by visit with Sandy Londa." OK- Sandy & I became friends through our mutual friend Kay Johnson. Kay is a United Methodist clergywoman who just retired in June and moved with her husband Ron to Ft. Worth because all three of her children live there, all three are married, and among them they have popped out six beautiful grandchildren, the last 5 in very rapid succession. So, like so many people who can do so, she has relocated in order to be nearer them as they grow up. Kay & I go back to the fall of 1962, when we met as Freshmen at Southwestern University in Georgetown, going through rush. We pledged the same sorority, became very close friends, and roomed together for the last half of our time there. So Sandy is another UMC pastor- and right before I met her, which has to have been over 10 years ago, she had begun preparations to migrate from being an associate in a large church to being a hospital chaplain. In the Methodist Church, it is necessary to obtain a special certification, or degree (I'm coming right off the top of my head here- I don't know exactly what it is called- but she had to return to seminary for a few years while she was still working at the local church). The good thing is that our primary seminary, Perkins School of Theology, now has an adjunct (or branch) in Houston. Since Perkins is located on the SMU campus in Dallas, everyone refers to the branch in Houston as "Perkins South". So now Sandy is well on the other side and has been on the staff of chaplains at Methodist Hospital for several years. I knew all this, and I knew that once I became a patient at the hospital, that Kay would alert her & she would find me, but Steve & I ran into her (literally) in the hall on Tuesday the 19th of September, when we had driven over to attend one of our six (required) Transplantation Classes.

And now, dear friends, I am going to close for this evening- hoping that I have redeemed myself somewhat, in a small way at least. I will send a short email to each of you who registered as a follower plus several others who did not register but told me you were reading it. What you will see when you log in the next time, whenever I post again, is a new blog entitled "The Adventure Continues", because it appears (and I do hope this is so) that my surgery will occur in Houston. After everything I went through, I still have not been listed in Dallas!

I began tonight by apologizing in a way for leaving you for almost 3 weeks. I feel like I have dealt with my attitude problem now to a degree that I won't come across as feeling sorry for myself. No one EVER wants to read a tale of woe from someone who seems to be saying "Poor sad me" in every sentence. If this does become a problem, please do me a favor and call me on it- OK? Nothing has changed about my status except my Lung Allocation Score, or LAS, and it is now 42. I will continue to climb assuming nothing else changes just based on the additional time I have been waiting. I've found some neat tables online that are specific to Methodist Hospital- like the number of lung transplants they have done since January 1, how many were for Blood Type A, etc. But this data has not changed since I found it in June- and I know they have been operating. So I need to ask my girl Kelley to see where I can get the "real-time" data. One thing is for sure: they do perform more lung transplants at Methodist than anywhere else in the country. That is good because it means that they have had more practice, and it also means that they have seen more of the weird complications as well. Steve is not very likely to hear "Mr. Garrett, we're sorry, but we ran into something that we have NEVER EVER SEEN before, and we just couldn't save her." Will do spell check & publish- I'm about to fall off the bed, I'm so sleepy!

It's Only Stuff- second try

Not being an experienced blogger, I have no idea what happened with that previous post. When I first started it, a few days ago, it just hung- so I went to bed & tonight thought I'd try again. Same problem. So I just published what I had written and decided to start anew. We'll see what happens.

So Stratton and Brian came on Friday and left Sunday. Stratton had a great video that he took of Lucy at the animal hospital. I'll ask him to post it sometime. She has on one of those Elizabethan collars, and amazingly, she isn't fighting it. Of course it is necessary to prevent her from licking her paw which is lacerated to the point that there isn't enough skin left to cover it. But she is getting excellent care, and when they returned to Dallas, they were pleased with her progress.

This week, I have to make 2 trips to Houston. Today, Steve & I went over at noon in order for him to see John for his issues: his weight (joining Weight Watchers tomorrow- they finally found a class that he can make), and his terribly deteriorated right hip. He truly needs a hip replacement as badly as I need a set of lungs, but it sets him off for me to say that. Bless his heart, he is so good- all of you who know him well will agree. The heartbreaking thing is that it is just as hard for Steve to walk as it is for me. So as the song that sort of "brought us together" goes- "Aren't we a pair? Don't you agree?" I am so loquacious that my cousin/doctor John says that I was vaccinated with a Victrola needle, and he claims to have been here to witness it! And then there is Steve- who has made a number of trips at the wheel of our van while the other 3 people in the car talked up a storm, and he hasn't said a word. But if you ask him, he isn't depressed, or angry or anything else- he is just quiet.

OK- I wanted to write about the title of this installation: you know what Stratton has come down for most recently is to finally get the rest of our boxes unpacked. They have beenin the carport, stacked on either side of my car, lending the house the unfortunate appearance of a bunch of Gypsy pack rats. Much of it was memorabilia, and things I had collected over the years, and no one wanted to start throwing away things that I was keeping for a certain reason. So at some point Saturday, Stratton came into the kitchen and said "I have some very bad news. My baby book is ruined." Well, that was a bad blow. There were many other things that could have been sacrificed easily that were fine- but no, I had to lose really "good" stuff. As an aside, Stratton added, "And it gets worse- Trilby's book was below mine in the box!" As I stopped what I was doing to look over the two items, I realize that they were not entirely ruined- just damaged, and then I got to thinking about all the things other people had lost from those three hurricanes, and when I ask myself what it is that constitutes true value. And I come up with lots of non-tangibles, along with things like the baby books.

The next time I write, I will try to describe what is going on with me physically right now- basically, it's not real good. But I also have a wonderful blessing to report in my serendipitous visit tonight with Chaplain Sandy Londa. Til then- all my best- which includes no stuff!

It's Only Stuff

Once again, it has been over a week. I used to love to "hop on" the Internet and check my mail, respond, then other browsing, etc. kept me online about an hour per day- I consider this a healthy amount of time for a retired person. But with this illness, doing anything is a real chore. I'm up at this ungodly hour only because we were sort of waiting for Stratton & Brian, who we knew to be en route, but whose ETA was unknown. I finally became able to snip the apron string on that, saying to myself & to anyone else- he is nearly 40 years old, and if he chooses to drive all night long, so be it. Just now he posted an ETA of 4:00 AM, so I replied for him to drive safely, stop when sleepy, and not ding my phone with a text again unless he had trouble, because I wanted to try & sleep. Then I took my meds, & when I begin to nod off at the keyboard, I will close up shop.

Poor Stratton has been trying to get away from Dallas since Wednesday. The big delay was caused by the fact that their dog Lucy was hit by a car that day. Lots of drama & traumatic emotions, but when they took her to their own vet, it turns out that she had bad lacerations on one front paw but no fractures whatsoever. So she is in the hospital until Monday because of the fact that she is missing a lot of skin. But she is a young dog and healthy, and from all indications, she will recover with time. I'm just so glad that their vet is keeping her- the last thing we need around here is an injured dog. Anyway, Stratton seems consitutionally incapable of staying away from Beaumont for more than 2 weeks at a time. While I love having him visit, it is hard on him to drive so much- we are getting 2 new tires put on his Jetta in the morning that were supposed to be installed before he left Dallas. When I think back to the fact that when this 40-year-old man was a baby, a person could fly from here to Dallas, or to Tyler, or to Austin- and several other places. I can't understand what happened- I know the answer- "It's the economy, Stupid", but it is still hard to understand.

A young man with the surname of Garrett died tonight after playing in a football game. He was the Quarterback for the West Orange-Stark team, and he had thrown 2 TD passes before he collapsed. nn. Quarterack

So Much To Say - So Little Energy

Well guys, I just feel terrible. I've wanted to write every night for the past 3, but I just don't have any energy when the time comes. Suffice it to say that this week has entailed 3 trips to Houston, two of which have been completed, and one of which (today) was very difficult for me physically. Stratton came for the week- and it was such a disappointment (to me, not to him) that he had to spend so much time driving, when we had several projects around here that he was planning to do. However, when your doctor says "jump", you ask "how high" if you are dependent on him for getting new lungs. About a year & a half ago, I had a pair of tests that are done through the endoscopy department at the hospital in which a probe is inserted into my stomach via my nostril. Yes, it feels like what you are thinking- ewwww! and Owwww! It wouldn't be so bad if it were just done once, but because of the way they have to take measurements, etc., it calls for a catheter to be inserted, removed, and inserted & removed a second time, followed by the probe which is inserted to STAY for 24 hours. The free end of the probe is taped to your face & nose- it looks so lovely- and then it connects to a small computer. The one thing that has changed for the better since I had this test run not once but twice in 2009: they have reduced the size of the computer- just like everything else that is computer-based, it has gotten smaller. That is carried with you, of course, & you sleep with it. You also have to tell it every time you lie down, get up, eat, quit eating, have heartburn, have pain, cough, etc. Not only do you have to push buttons on the computer, you are supposed to manually create a log that they check against the readings. All of this is to determine the extent of your reflux. Now when I had this done before, #1, I was not nearly so sick and I didn't have any lung pain. #2, I was allowed to take my medication that controls the reflux- i.e., my Nexium & Zegerid. So even though it was a pain to haul around and impossible to sleep normally, it was just for 24 hours, and I didn't have any bad effects from what I ate since I was on the meds. This time, they made me stop my medication that is controlling my GERD, which at this time is 40mg omeprazole morning & night. That is a double dose of Prilosec, in case anyone is wondering. But it had it completely controlled, and I had no more ulcers on my vocal cords, no more hiatal hernia, and the esophagram that I had done in January 2010 was clear. This time, I have been pretty miserable since about Tuesday morning- it takes 3 or 4 days for the drug to clear your system, and after mine was all gone, my body began letting me know. Even though I wasn't allowed to take the big guns, I did take Tums and good old pink Pepto, and that was something at least. Now, until tomorrow morning, I can't have anything. I can drink water but it isn't supposed to be cold, and the same for food. I had to fudge on that- all I can tolerate is vanilla ice cream or milk, and neither of them can I tolerate at room temp. But I'm letting the water get about half-way there, and I let the ice cream melt. Anyway, our frist trip was the Class on Death & Dying which we attended (Steve, Stratton & me) on Tuesday night- that was trip #1. We did have a neat visit with Stratton's friend Suzanne Wheat who is a Physician's Assistant at Texas Children's Hospital. That was the second time we had done that- last week she treated us to a down-home dinner at Barnaby's. Then it was time to head home, as the oxygen was getting low & my heartburn was killing me- I sat there staring at a $26 red snapper dish but couldn't eat it. Today was our second, and tomorrow, Stratton takes me right back to that same office & they will remove the probe. That trip will be quite quick by comparison, and just as soon as the probe is removed, my omeprazole goes in! We will return to Beaumont, and then sometime tomorrow afternoon or evening, whenever he is ready, Stratton will hit the road for Dallas. Right after we got home today, I called Suzanne Ryan, and she came over- we celebrated one month of becoming "reacquainted" since her return to Beaumont, because on her first trip to see me, she brought in the mail, and it included my Vanity Fair magazine. Today the new one arrived. She is getting very excited as she & David leave for Australia to see their daughter & family in less than 2 weeks.

I promise to post more about these very difficult days soon. Right now, I am going to see if I can do anything resembling sleep.