A Different Thanksgiving

As you can imagine, nothing about this Thanksgiving resembled any other Thanksgiving in our memory. We received several invitations to eat at other people's table, most notably Trilby's, but the task of moving me from one place to the next just means that I do not leave here unless I absolutely have to. Also, putting myself in Jacksonville, Texas on Thursday would not have been a good idea had there been a set of lungs available while I was there. I would have been twice as far from Houston, without any pre-arranged travel. I don't think I reported this- there is a lot that I think of from time to time that I left out of my posts- but we have arranged for a private ambulance company to come and pick me up as soon as I get called. Steve will follow in his car; Virginia will go in the ambulance with me, assuming this happens after she arrives. I actually have 2 companies that can and will take me to Houston- the one I prefer is small, however, and they have fewer vehicles. The owner called and talked to me- this is the kind of person I like doing business with- especially serious business to do with my life. He said he would appreciate it if I would call Acadien, which is the large private company with a branch here. They can virtually guarantee that they will have a vehicle available, so I have them on as stand-by. So, back to Thanksgiving dinner itself, Trilby understood why I couldn't come- but we have gone to her house every year now for several years, and she is a very good cook who seems to improve with time. I believe I could have taught Trilby how to be a good cook, but I can't take credit for having done it; she was never interested in learning how until she was out of the house, married, and learning how to live on a budget! But with the arrival of her children, she has learned how to put a hot meal on the table economically and with regularity, and I am proud of her for that.

So- we had just had a great visit from Stratton- he arrived the day I posted my last entry here, and he made a wonderful dinner. While Trilby cooks by the book, and has excellent results that are predicatable, Stratton cooks by inspiration and the seat of his pants, and most of the time, the results are excellent. Sometimes, of course, they are not- which is the risk one takes when one cooks by inspiration! Anyway, he stayed until Monday- Brian & Lucy spent most of the time in Pt. Arthur, but not until after dinner on Friday. I have told you about Lucy- she is all healed up from her altercation with the automobile, although the vet still has her wearing a brace. She is an exceedingly smart young dog- I believe it is an accepted fact that mixed breeds are normally brighter than purebreds- well, having owned a purebred Sheltie for 13 years and a purebred English Sheepdog for 15 years and counting, there is some truth to that statement. Our Sheltie was smart- he seemed to know instinctively what was wanted and was always eager to please. But as much as I adore BoPeep, I will be the first to agree that she is really pretty dumb. Sweet as you can imagine, and of course she wants to please us, but she has a hard time figuring out how, and as she has aged, she seems to have acquired a bit of doggie dementia. Suffice it to say that Lucy wins hands down in the smarts department! Bo lived with another dog for her whole life until about 3 years ago, when we had to have LeStat put down. But she is totally lost when it comes to interacting with another dog today. She is 3 times as large as Lucy, but she will stand back and watch Lucy eat for food. And she wants nothing more than to get away from her, so we separated them while we ate, and then Stratton & Brian washed the dishes and took Lucy & went to Pt. Arthur, but Bo kept looking around every corner as long as Stratton was here! As usual, Stratton found things that needed doing and did them, plus we had some time to just visit about this whole thing and how he is handling it. He can never sleep when he is here. He will get up and go out & drive around and buy donuts, or get a coke somewhere- he loves to browse in Walgreens- don't ask me why- but I would imagine he has gone into the 24-hour Walgreens in the middle of the night just to have something to do. This time he did not drive all night to get here, arriving as he did in the afternoon, and when they left, it was also in the afternoon. But he told me that he just never sleeps when he is here. I know that he can hear me cough- Steve has had to teach himself to sleep through it, and he can do it- amazingly- he just snores away. But with Stratton, I think it is the fact that when he is confronted with my severely limited life, and when he realizes that as much as we hope & plan for a successful match and transplant, that there is a very real possibility that I will not get better, and that my remaining life will be brief. That is hard for me to deal with, folks. And since I was 19 when my mother had her kidney transplant, and since she was literally at death's door when they did it, I remember having the same thoughts as Stratton is having now. That is something that I don't think he and Trilby have ever reallized- that I have been exactly where they are. The difference is the fact that my mother was not transplanted until she was so near death that it was not expected that she would recover- they felt like they could not do it earlier because they might be shortening her life. Well, her life at that time- for the whole year before she died- was so limited and she suffered so much, I always wished that they had done it 6 months earlier. In her case, they didn't have to wait for a donor- my grandmother was a perfect match and was right there ready & waiting. But they chose to wait until the last possible minute. None of the first 8 surgeries they did back then survived long enough to leave the hospital. The prognosis today is much better- so long as an organ is available. So I continue to remind myself that I am supposed to be thinking positively. I try to- I really do. I fight panic, and I need to work on a routine to stop a panic attack before it gets out of control. I have some reading material on yoga that is supposed to help- but I think I am not a very good student. So on with the dailies.

We made it through the work-week (meaning until Wednesday night), Steve learned that he had lost another pound when he went to his meeting, and then he went after BoPeep, who had spent the 3 days back at Barkwood. Thursday morning, Steve's cousin Becky Mason called. She had invited us to come to their house for dinner, but when she learned that we weren't leaving home, she brought the meal to us- some of everything. So we did not go turkey-less on this turkey day. To be truthful, I didn't eat but one bite of turkey. I just have trouble with meat- even chicken & fish. I don't know what it is, but since I have to take a prescription strength dose of Prilosec twice each day, I don't try to push it with something that doesn't want to go down right. After the transplant, I am going to have to have another piece of surgery called a fundoplication to keep the acid reflux from damaging my new lungs. I learned that is one of the reasons that I am not listed yet in Dallas- they want me to have the minor surgery first, but Houston says I am too sick to survive the first one and might never be able to have the transplant, so I'm sticking with them on this issue. (Also because I have never wanted to go anywhere other than Houston, and because they do 4 or 5 times as many lung transplants in a year as Dallas does.)

Thursday evening, right about dark-thirty, Kathy & Alex came & stayed with us until today, so I will close this for now & add another chapter soon about the Richardson girls and Bella. Hint: Bella is another small dog- Bo is having second thoughts on how thankful she is to live here. We, by the way, are very thankful for all that God has provided, and also for our many friends and loved ones, who continue to lift us up each day in prayer, and whose love supports us and enables us to keep from falling. We are so fortunate, and we thank you all.

911 Anyone???

It's been a long while again, but I am going to stop apologizing. There is too much going on these days for me to worry about anything that does not deal with staying alive. Yesterday made that all too clear. It was the first time I have had to call 911 - for myself. It was nothing more than tangled up oxygen cables, and the massage therapist was here, so there should not have been such an emergency. However, folks- when you know that you will pass out within a few minutes and the person with you has no medical training, you tend to panic- at least I did. And the oxygen provider (Walson) is still trying to come up with the best "fit" for me as my need increases exponentially. We all thought that I would be transplanted before I got to this point, which is called "end-stage lung disease". It has been pretty difficult trying to keep my sense of humor. Walson did send one of their respiratory therapists over, and she worked with me & Steve was home by then, so we benefitted from that as well.

Well, I believe I was going to tell you about my visit with Summer & Brittany. Some of you might know who these two girls are, but most of you do not, because despite the fact that they are close relatives of ours, the "degree" that links us to them is either AWOL or in communicado. Both of them had their 25th birthdays this fall. Brittany is our granddaughter- our oldest one. Her mother is Rebecca, whom we called "Muffin" when she was at home. She got pregnant, married Todd Hergert and had Brittany in September 1985. We saw them for a few years- although not often. Then, when Brittany was 5, they divorced, and Todd took custody of Brittany. His mother & grandmother raised her. Todd's mother is married to Doug Nelson, the caterer. We were invited to her HS graduation and then, a year ago, to her wedding- plus Steve's ex-wife (Rebecca's mother, who has always enabled Rebecca, who has a major drug problem) decided that we were selected to keep the bottom layer of the wedding cake (not the tiny top, but the huge bottom layer)because we were the only family members living in Beaumont with a deep-freeze! So nice to be wanted and needed! Brittany & Brannen, her husband, have a 3-year-old son. They moved in together several years ago, then she had the baby, and when he was 2, they decided to get married. It was a pretty wedding at St. John's Lutheran.

We have seen more of Summer through the years. She is our niece- her mother is Steve's sister Sherri. Since Steve's parents both died (one in Jan. '07, the other in Febr. '08), there just hasn't been the amount of visiting etc. that used to go on- we celebrated every birthday, all holidays- anyway, we saw each other more often back then. I'm sure this happens in all families. Well, I knew that Brittany had already had her birthday and that Summer's was approaching, and Brittany was also right at her 1st wedding anniversary, when I decided to call them and invite them over. I just told them that I wanted a chance to see them again, and could we plan a party & invite the aunts and cousins, and do it here except I couldn't do anything! It was a very nice plan, but it didn't happen. I was really down that weekend, and have actually been getting weaker by the day ever since- hence I have found no real reason to write. Brittany did take her cake home, however! So our freezer has room in it again.

I did have a wonderful conversation with Virginia Balano last night, however- she graduated with me from South Park High School, and I have seen her exactly twice since then! Nevertheless, she is one of those rare individuals who feels called to take care of the sick & dying, as we are told to do in the Bible. When she heard about my illness, she wrote to me and said "I will be there to do whatever you need for as long as you need me." Something like that is just so amazing- we were acquaintances- I don't recall having any classes with her, but she attended Jr. High & High School with me. But until we got together for lunch one day when she & another mutual friend were in town at the same time (for a Melody Maids reunion), I wouldn't have known Virginia if she had walked in my door. She has taken care of her sister when she nearly died from cancer- but she didn't and I believe she is fine today; and she took care of her EX! To go sit and nurse the man who decided he wanted to be with someone else after many years of marriage was a major job in forgiveness. She is just awesome. And so I called her & we talked, and I said that I need someone with me as soon as possible- it is the only way I am going to make it til whenever they have a match for me. We settled on December 6- she will fly into Houston, and Steve will go pick her up. Then, whether they call me the next day or the next month, I will have daily help- which is what I need. So that is good.

Bettie Nixon is coming over in a while to go to the grocery store to pick up the things on Stratton's list. He & Brian are coming south- Brian and Lucy the dog will go stay with Brian's folks, and Stratton will be here, and he is cooking dinner. So I think I might take a wee nap now until it is time for her to arrive. Until whenever, friends................