Back to "Real Time"

Once more, I apologize- I said I would get back by Friday and here it is Sunday. Oh well- I think I have finished the important parts of the ''Week That Was". Bettie and I were treated to a wonderful grilled turkey burger dinner at Stratton & Brian's house Friday evening, and one by one, all of his friends whom we had taken out earlier in the week returned to grab a bite & give me a "good-bye" hug. Then we got up Saturday and had a short surprise visit from Donna (Chesser) Chenowith, who still lives in Duncanville. For those of you who don't know, Donna is my step-sister, and I last saw her about 5 years ago when she let me know that she was bringing her 2 girls and 5 grandchildren to a beach cabin on Bolivar. Before that, we never could agree on when we had been together, but it wasn't too long after my dad died which was 1986! My mother died (following the kidney transplant) in 1964. My dad said then that he no intention of ever marrying again- for one thing, he was very, very tired! His Caregiver role with my mother lasted almost their entire marriage (20 years), although in order to run his business & support the family, he had help from my grandmother from 1954 on. "Mom" Schnautz stayed in Beaumont with him following mother's death because she was still recouperating from the nephrectomy- in those days (and perhaps still), the kidney donor had a more painful recovery than the recipient. But she still had her homestead in New Braunfels- it had been rented out for 10 years- and she was planning to move back there in the summer of 1965. I had made what felt like a big sacrifice- I had stayed home and attended Lamar for the fall semester of my Junior year- Southwestern University was such a small school back then (700 students) that it was a big deal to be gone for a semester- I lost my spot in the a capella choir, for instance- because the auditions are held only in the fall, and even if you had been in the choir the previous year, you had to audition every fall. Anyway, I guess my point is that I really didn't need to stay home- I was guilty of taking myself & my role way too seriously! I thought Daddy needed me to cook & clean house, & I did relieve "Mom" of a lot of that work, but my dad accepted a blind date in October 1964 to attend a dance - and his head was in the clouds from then on! It was set up by his good friends and fellow church members Marge & Wilton Cox. And his blind date was Ruth Chesser. She lived, along with her 2 children, with her parents on the corner of Mazzu & Iowa, 3 blocks from my dad! She had been divorced for a long time, and she had dated from time to time, so when the Coxes asked her to double-date with them & my dad, she was happy to do it. Getting my dad to go was a bit more challenging, but Marge Cox wasn't known for taking "no" for an answer. Dancing is one thing my mother loved to do and my dad put up with until she could no longer do it! And in the process, he got pretty good at it- old-fashioned ballroom dancing. Well, they just had a wonderful evening, and before Christmas, Daddy had asked Ruth to marry him! A lot of people, including me, worried that he was moving too fast- that he shouldn't have made that commitment after such a short courtship- they did feel like they needed to wait until my mother had been gone for a year- and they did, marrying in August 1965. And it turned out to be a true love match, and they had 9 years of a relatively normal marriage before Ruth was diagnosed with brain cancer. After that, my dad nursed her for 5 years, during which she lost her vision entirely, and slowly but surely, she lost her ability to process thought. It was so sad- and when you add the time he spent taking care of my mother to the time he cared for Ruth- he was an absolute angel. He had a 20 year marriage and a 15 year marriage, and in all that time, he had 12 years without a chronically ill wife. Those of you who were privileged to know him are aware of how special he was.

Oh well- I was talking about the last time I saw Donna- right? OK- so we really never saw a lot of each other once our parents were gone, plus she had an older brother who was just about a year or two younger than I was- his name was Glenn. Glenn was a handsome guy, a nice guy, but he had difficulty keeping a job and that was primarily because he had a prescription drug problem. He died in his sleep a year after my dad, and is buried here along with my dad & Ruth. He & his wife did have a little boy who was 5 when Glenn died, and Donna told me that Brian has turned out to be a fine young man who is currently in the service & serving in Iraq. (Or possibly he is back- I'm not sure about that). So- I caught up with Donna, and then at noon, Bettie & I checked out & hit the road. We came home via Jacksonville, stopping to see Trilby, Michael & Ethan. Trilby's girls were with their dad for the weekend, so we didn't get to see them.

Since returning from Dallas 3 weeks ago yesterday, I have been waking up in a different world every week it seems. I am referring to the constantly changing picture of where I am going to have the surgery, if I qualify, and as of right now it is HOUSTON!!!! Yes, my Blue Cross Case Manager called me this week, and she told me that (on her own) she had appealed to the higher-ups within the organization, and wonder of wonders, they gave me special permission to have the surgery (with full coverage) at Methodist Hospital in Houston. Do you realize that had they allowed it the first time that I might have already had the surgery?? Dr. Frost told me when I saw her last that were I to have the transplant at Methodist, it would probably happen within 6 weeks. That was just based on how long it usually takes to procure a match for someone with A+ blood and white skin. (I think you have probably heard about the push to get black people to be organ donors- this is because skin color is one of the tissue types- not skin color per se, but "ethnic origin". The lungs can come from a man or a woman, so long as the donor is approximately my size, has A+ blood, and matches a few other "tissue types".)

So I have already been in touch with Houston and Dallas, and Dallas has agreed to send all my test results to Methodist post haste. The program administrator in Houston is Kelley Fry, and she is the very person who called me on March 22, following my visit with Dr. Kesavan, and began by saying "I'm sorry, Mrs. Garrett, but Blue Cross will not approve an organ transplant at this facility", thus blowing away my hope in 10 seconds. She & I have talked twice since I got the news this week- and she is so genuinely happy for me that she feels bad for having to tell me that I couldn't have it there unless I wanted to pay for it myself- HA. I told her not to worry- she was passing on bad information, but she had no way of knowing that it was bad, and in fact, I still do not know exactly what happened when. It is all very strange, but I'm not going to ask any questions at this point!

Today, Steve & I drove to Houston to the Alley Theater to meet Kathy & Alex Richardson. We saw their wonderful professional actors in Agatha Christie's Mousetrap. I can't hold my eyes open, so I will pick it up here next time (whenever that happens to be!)